ARCHIVE for We’re Out of Cornflakes

Site started September 4, 2017

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Junk in the trunk
Doctor gets a special formula from aliens
Caveman is a scientist
You can't speak to me like that
If you want to make God laugh…
He accidentally killed his roommate
Real story of the 3 little pigs
Grim Reaper gets a new job
Genie offers wish to complete idiot
Cure for callousness
Jerry texts a lot
Another first in history
Listen to your body
Billy draws like a first grader
Make fun of bully in 30 years
Deciding if they should bomb earth
Grim Reaper loves baseball
Transgender can't participate in track meet
One out of three people is ugly
He invented the transporter
Lincoln tries to write a speech
In a running car in the garage 
Talk about the birds and the bees
Breaking boards in karate class
Thomas Edison's great invention
Shows resume to get into heaven
We're just poos
Captain Champion vs Khab
Looking up husbands web searches
Would you buy a car?
Charon runs into old high school buddy
Grandpa - in my day things were made to last
On the next season of True Detective
Private peckerwood
Egyptians worshipped cats
Steven Seagal in "Hard to Love"


What job could you possibly get?
Revolt on Santa
Santa lights up the room
A fight to the death
Barry died suddenly
Fliggins mixed the wrong chemicals
Dream Control Center
Someone thought about killing you
Bumpy the chimp
Snake talk
The very first Thanksgiving
God: Let there be Light!
Cats want symbol of immortality
Dinosaur sounds
A new toilet 
Frankenstein's monster is a selfish brute
Priest fights of vampire with his pee
Son asks dad for help again
Brain: you awake?
Wishes to genie to be ruler of continent
Do what you love to do.
He's a rescue
You're a big baby
Medina, Medusa's sister
Tall, dark and mysterious dating profile
Insulting a group of people
Worm wife asks a question
Morning wake up
Rock paper scissors to the death
Do you want to hold my baby?
Dreaming about his wife
Morty the Xortonian gets all the Blockbusters
Monkeys at typewriters
Spread his remains at the stadium
Footprints in the Sand
Lawyer billboards
Father out for cigarettes
Brilliant scientist with billion dollar computer
Becoming an explorer
Batman's utility belt getting annoying
Morty uses Earth sayings on posters
His artwork will come to life
A new P.O.W.
Eve is tired of looking at Adam naked
Batman fights the Sunburner
Dating apps from hell
Abandoned space ship we can use
Robots put on plays with humans
Aliens use computer to send missiles 
Ghost leaving messages again
Another famous caveman invention
God makes Adam a friend from his rib
Young boy with rich parents
The real Noah's ark
How have the meds been working?
Alien wants to be a comedian on Earth
Robots have taken over
One of those flat earther guys
Meeting someone at the bank
I want to be loved
Come on brain, I need a clever line
Do NOT date Beth Gripenstraw
Peter complains about being bald
Their females explode when they get mad
He marries a Russian woman
A tradition passed on from son to son
1st day as a ghost
Genie grants his odd wish
My roommate is a heathen
I don't date smokers
Terror at 30,000 feet
Zortox, you're my best friend!
Always wear clean underwear
Caveman discussion
Aliens check out earth's internet
Selfish piece of shit
Standing next to famous mobster
Robin Hood has quit
He always wanted to be on TV
Memorial to stop others from dying there
Noah story a little different
A product everyone hates
Aliens check out earth's internet
Rain Acknowledger Man
God loves Youtube
Aliens study cats instead of humans
The real Sleeping Beauty
The Gates of Hell
Bad news and good news
Get out of today's test
Miss Universe Pageant
The Matrix
Telling our jobs at the high school reunion
The anti-stupidity shot 
On island, throws bottle out with message


Found the fountain of youth
Bonzo the clown is home early
One of you is an earth spy!
Andrew Jackson was in 103 duels
Nosetonians aliens sense of smell
Aliens on a mission do not get lonely
Heaven really is just a bunch of clouds
He has lots of friends
Zortolians will have the last word
Looney at the park
Making a deal with Satan
The Bluntarians
Gummy bear
Dogs amazed at something
Zombies during the zombie apocalypse
Destruction of Groygon-7
God contacts the IT department
Polar bears eat
Deserted island with no food
The Rumpzonians
The swear jar
Guy on island gets message in a bottle
Fat lady with hot guy
Kids have chalk for sidewalk
Finally have a good life
Lady surprised to go to hell
Plane going down - seatbelt sign on
Can I talk to you about Jesus
A man and his sockpuppet
Whale sounds
No one more organized than me
Secret agent: Do you expect me to talk?
Man and his cat
Guy asks genie for girlfriend
Potato chip eaters anonymous
Morty's alphabet million six letters
Charon takes couple down River Styx
Vito the cat 
God thinks Twinkies have no exp date
Man spreads cheese all over his body
Would you be the mother of my kids?
Jesus was a carpenter
Speed of covered wagons
Genie: there is one rule
What a little boy likes
Jerry in school in his underwear
Odd first date confession
All noise is gone
Kid caught doing drugs
Basic shooting class
Luke, I am your father
If you work hard, son, you can do anything
Urinal man
Grandpa reads her Bible stories
Where has God been lately?
Genie grants peace on earth wish
2 birds fighting
Wear in heaven what you had on when you died
He's a patriot and flies his flag
Who's the crazy one now, Beth?
Aliens: don't make fun of our names
Time machine goes back 15 minutes
Dares to summon demon
Guy asks for God's autograph in heaven
First thing in heaven is to rewatch your life
Gramps is a hardcore gamer
Charon has to get a side gig
Bubble Wrap Head aliens
Harry is loud and opinionated
Dracula dick pick
Ghost strip clubs
Dracula at a bar
Harold gives God candy for Halloween
Postal person and the endless questions
Alexandre Dumas had one problem
It'll give you wings
Earthlings celebrate birthdays
Guy with the smallest penis in the world
Cement washes up on deserted island
1692: pulling a quarter from his ear
Wants to die with a big crowd
Cleans the house when people come
Future self tells him to stop lying
Santa sees everything
Water falls on Santa
rock: Million years to get to this spot
Need an experienced tracker


Aliens kidnap Grim Reaper
Hanging out with Death
Robot on deserted island with old man
Aliens had lots of sex with human
God revises snowflakes
Grim Reaper can't get a girlfriend
Aliens get something from Earth
Princess and the frog 
Billy is the worst student ever
Celebrity Jeopardy
Alien makes amazing pies 
Island with box of goods
Hansel and Gretel
Someone spying on me
Down the River Styx with Charon again
Enlargement pills lost
Jesus has a rope for a belt
Space weapons
Common denominator
Trex applies for a job
Blind guy's new girlfriend
Zoltrog helps out gang in fight
Worst father ever
Wants a glass house
Astronauts dump 6 ounces from ship
Will I go to heaven or hell
Alien checking out license plates
Dancing for the lord
Ticket prices only one dollar for the game
Taking a number 2 in the woods
Working hard in the yard
Aliens won't conquer dumb earthlings
Aliens take muscly guy to their planet
Sleeping cat, cannot wake
Alien protocol is to make out with his wife
Biggest bladder in the world
Aliens with interesting names
Genie grants kid's one wish
Eat ass
Grandpa talking to tombstone
Grim Reaper clothes
Tom Thumb
3 inventors get into heaven
Barry butt dialed me again
Sports teams asking for God's help
He threw his steroids in the garbage bin
Ratings to keep kids out of theater
Aliens like earth golf courses
Bad genie helps guy become lawyer
Bad cats demon of mischief
Lost in the desert
Bees do great things
Aliens abduct comedian
Spike has to break some bones
Scratch during zombie apocalypse
Kid wants genie to hurt his bullies
Billy eat your food
Aliens- water on earth is deadly to them
Washington on one dollar bill
Useless super hero group
Made it through the Forbidden zone
Masturbate before decisions
Big head aliens
A cop behind me, slow down
Medieval weapons going to party
All hell broke loose
Fish caught in six pack yoke
Elephant Man 2
Message from alien race
Dracula has a peanut allergy
The Wereworm
Dracula bladder the size of a peanut
Dracula gets a back tat
Dress up dog for Halloween
Mountains kill more people than sharks
Dogtonians left a box or rayguns
New cat tree
Jack and Jill
Sticks and stones may break my bones
Alien invasion list mixed with shopping list
Invisible men fun times
Blind date with elegant guy
Cat on alien's ship
Little drummer man
Santa not happy with bad kids
Santa can't remember
Rudolph nose can enlighten the entire sky
Little drummer boy magical white gloves
Butterfly gang
TVs through the years


To Serve Man
Different types of Grims
Gorilla at the zoo
Everything you touch
Breaking up with the Grim Reaper
The Lost Boys
Searching for oxygen
Memory eraser will make me rich
How pigeons pick their targets
Giant aliens - don't eat me don't eat me
Fortune teller: a hundred years from now
Golf on Mars
Robots in future 
Asking god for help
Aliens need dumb humans for machine
The Most Dangerous Game
Giant aliens dump
Let's have long lives!
Friends with Alien kid
Get out of presentation at work tomorrow 
Scented doggy bags
Bad boy and woodpecker
Caveman invention day
Washington's ghost visits Lincoln
Aliens hold off on finishing invasion
Toilet paper covers in public bathroom
A very important company
Caveman launcher
Cat sees ghost no one else can
Secret Agent is retired
Donate body to science
The real Cinderella
Greeting alien friends
Prison cell hook up
Hunchback of Notre dame
How to remember things class
The real Tarzan
God makes new reasons to go to Hell
Another anon group
Thoughts and prayers to disaster
Important job
God has pizza
Loose lips sink ships
Watching scary movie with woman
Only dumb people survive zombie apocalypse
Passenger has problem on airplane
Alien schlik pic
Pirate captain plays scrabble with sailor
Bad cats find a box
God decides to make snakes cute and furry
Horace & Myrtle meet a swinging couple
Caveman invents bomb
I love both of my boys equally
Dinosaur creates liquid makes you immortal
Aliens bad at math
Wife is still cold
Play Dave's 10 bucks in Las Vegas
I go to concerts all the time
Sue happy world
Alien have the same goobers
Alien and guy on deserted island together
Invented fuel-less jet pack
Viking deodorant
In heaven, find out women who liked you
Met older woman on tinder
Deserted island find
Alien Dodo birds
Bum lady 50 years ago
Ostriches can fly
Alien gets English tattoo
30 years plus life in prison
Alien scout at party before invasion
Where is everybody?
Who's a good boy?
In heaven they see the websites you viewed
Reading in bathrooms over the years
Cat aliens offer a gift
Time machine
Grim reaper goofs up
God not happy
This 100 dollar bill
Man on street gives son advice
Spider web 
Aliens give anal probe
Shark party
Stick figures
Aliens destroy planet
God does a nice trick
Aliens discuss Keanu Reeves
Do you have the time?
Jehova witness dog
1972 time machine
Santa gives bad boy coal
Airplane engine hits house
Break in windshield


The Kommodians
Aliens hesitantly conquer Earth
The aliens only wanted one thing
Scientists make important discoveries
The Time Jumpers
An island, a man and a mermaid 
I would watch idiots talk for hours 
Aliens who are also Christians 
Look up in the sky! 
Shampoo has an expiration date
Sending thoughts and prayers
An amazing liquor store
When notice something about your girlfriend you never noticed before
Having drinks with Death
The first colonists on Mars
New boyfriend has cold feet in the night
How not to speak to your beloved
A giraffe and his special leaves
The true story of Little Red Riding Hood
Bad Cats
A the DEATH!
If you talk the talk, you can get elected!
Bad Cats 2
Stuff you find out when you get to heaven
Losing stuff you don't want to lose at the circus
Two sharks make a bet
Myrtle wants something nice from Horace
Treaty with aliens has complications
Lady loves the cowboy
The best Earth has to offer
Loosening up the rules to get into Heaven
Fish will grant one wish
Getting to Heaven earlier than you thought
Caveman job day
Vultures get their prey
Goldfish have short memories
The real story of Goldilocks
The fabric of Hell
Guys who have a lot of stickers on their back window
Other ways ghosts can scare you
Even aliens use butt slang
Some thugs extract some important info
Remembering the great orators
Buddies climbing a mountain
Wiseguys having a conversation
Mob Mentality
Pirates digging for treasure
Horace will put his mouth anywhere
Cat writes a letter
He's with Jesus now
Fastest gun in the west
God eliminates lying
Aliens with lots of eyes
Unluckiest person alive
Mermaid has a twin sister
Super hero source of power
Homework loophole
Aliens cut off power for invasion
He learned hacking from the movies
The REAL George Washington
Braveheart Freedom
Meeting martians for the first time
What did you do to end up in hell?
Kid going to prison
Bad Cats 3
Bad kid reads for grandma
Lady bugs hate their name
Einstein gets a computer
Bell invents the phone
Math kid gets a genie
Ghost turns annoying guy into a ghost
Dr. Krango creates a monster
Alien with big bazoongas
Frankenstein meets the Wolfman
Horace finds box of firecrackers in garbage
Woman breaks up with Robot x17
Naked man talking about orgies
Guy named Peeping Tom
Burn witch at the stake 
Elephant Man
Overheard a discussion on the plane
Icejerks Iceberg gang
Wheel of fortune


Grandpa had one of those dreams
Alien baby trade
Playing ping pong against God
When the Grim Reaper says "you gotta go..."
Why do I always thank the cop for the ticket?
A big fear I have about my dog
A good secret agent can get out of anything
Another reason cops have body cameras
The aliens have a plan for their prisoner
Hell is hell
Crack addicts will do anything for crack
Bull gets a little payback
Cheating ghost
Killing baby Hitler
Worst cake maker ever - or is she?
The suspect is naked! 
Found a cure!
Beethoven originally had lyrics for his famous piece "For Elise"
Depressed man at the bar
Dracula and the Wolfman are friends again
Hell is hell: Demons having fun
Aliens looking for a new sport
Tell her...tell her I love her
I pay your salary!
The proper way to protest
The original ending of "Titanic"
Cheap robes in heaven
Smoked a lot
Why is Grandma afraid of new technology?
Hell is hell: What happens to suicide bombers
The Butterfly Catchers
What they always say when a famous musician dies
Mountain meets Volcano
The Invisible Man
Exploring a new planet
Hell is hell: Never upset the wife
Horace & Myrtle: Where to find cheap gas
At the museum
Is that a teardrop tattoo?
Ghost gets dirty for the first time
People who dumb stuff on video
First day as a zombie 
Hell is hell: The Texter 
Angry kid's parents made a time machine
Another day on the River Styx
Horace & Myrtle: Horace makes lots of sacrifices for Myrtle
The true story of Jack and the Giant
A bear in the woods enjoys a snack
Alien in the old west
Confession on a fishing trip
Rich woman buys cable news network
Hell is hell: Signing Death
A man and a chicken are on an island...
The genie of regrets
How all massages should end
The beginning of the end for Abe
The Butterfly Effect
The enlargement ray finally works
The cats like hanging around the lab
Aliens email earthlings to determine if they're kind
Learning stuff from Dad
You never know when you will die
Aliens give an ultimatum
Mistake on job interview
First words uttered on Mars
Hell is hell: John Wilkes Booth's job in hell
Women who pluck their eyebrows out
Going after a politician
The REAL spiderman
Knowing the soil the on Mars
Making up words in Scrabble
Teach your children well
Getting all your demands when you have hostages
The Last Man on Earth
When you have speakers in every inch of your car
The bear family who has it all
Dracula and Wolfman play a prank
Ghost gets preoccupied during a scare
He has a hot wife and no one believes it
The 7th Voyage of Sinbad revisited
Very sacred ground
How cowboys get their nicknames
Ghosts do not care who they scare
The Astronaut Body Snatchers
Young hooligan busted
Meeting up with the probation officer
Robin Hood makes some changes
Enter the Drag On
Santa and Dracula work together
Alien scout in for a surprise
Another gunfight in the old west


A brave pilot saves the day
Conversation in the living room
Another industry the millennials killed
You are not my father!
Yes, there is a heaven 
What really happened that night at Ford's theater
An old west gunfight
Welcome our new alien friends!
Another tale of survival during the zombie apocalypse
How teams win championships
Important After School special about bullies
An Important Astronaut Chimp
A gift from our alien friends
Questions for God
Atomic Robot 6 has escaped
Message on the Moon
Good magazines in prison
A day on Monkey Island
If Lincoln could hear you
First day as a ghost
Original unseen version of Frankenstein (1931)
What some lions do in Africa
Men who argue
Overworked vets
Offer from our alien friends
Morons who blast music from their car
Amish fun
Sweet little kitty
The evictor 
Time magazine has been bought 
Rhino request
Good Ol' Uncle Bill
Getting lots of college degrees
Yet another super hero group
The true story of the Three Wise Men
The Ghost of Christmas Future - what really happened
Alien language similarities to English